A look at current events from the point of a view of a Conservative Evangelical Christian who stands firmly on the Word of God (that's the Bible for those of you at Berkley) and stands behind the Constitution of the United States of America. So grab yourself a big cup of java, kick back in your chair and enjoy another member of the "vast right wing conspiracy" making his voice heard.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
"From: Jerry Falwell
Date: December 28, 2006
We hear a lot these days about a divided nation. So I began wondering this week why our nation has begun to embrace a relatively new celebration known as Kwanzaa, which is not as innocent as it appears on the surface.
Launched in 1966, Kwanzaa is celebrated for seven days, beginning December 26. The weeklong festival was introduced by Ron Karenga (AKA Ron Everett), a black author and Marxist devotee, who has a very dubious history. Mr. Karenga’s Marxist roots should be a warning signal right off the bat, but there’s more to be concerned about here.
In 1969, on the campus of UCLA, Mr. Karenga led a student group known as United Slaves, which, along with students in the equally radical Black Panthers (the rivals of United Slaves), actually attended classes with loaded weapons.
David Horowitz, in his book “Radical Son,” noted that Black Panther John Higgins was then “murdered — along with Al ‘Bunchy’ Carter — on the UCLA campus by members of Ron Karenga’s organization.” Later, female members of the United Slaves said they were tortured by United Slaves members, all at Mr. Karenga’s command.
Members of the organization have since reported being beaten and tortured by Mr. Karenga and his minions. He was actually convicted of felonious assault and false imprisonment in 1971, and sentenced to prison. At his trial, a psychiatrist’s report declared: “This man now represents a picture which can be considered both paranoid and schizophrenic with hallucinations and elusions, inappropriate affect, disorganization, and impaired contact with the environment.”
But the story gets more bizarre.
When he was released from prison, Mr. Karenga had earned his doctorate degree and soon was appointed to the Black Studies Department at California State University, Long Beach.
I’ll never cease to be amazed at the foolish gullibility of modern education officials.
Our nation, I believe, has also been naïve in accepting Kwanzaa without examining its roots and its founder. In our modern quest to embrace multiculturalism and diversity at all costs, I believe we are being duped by the founder of Kwanzaa.
I’ve watched several news reports on Kwanzaa in recent days and none of them have mentioned the dark history of its founder or its Marxist pedigree. The reports have simply noted that Kwanzaa is a weeklong celebration rooted in African traditions, and even that is untrue.
Mr. Karenga himself admits that Kwanzaa is not fundamentally African, telling the Washington Post in 1978, “People think it’s African, but it’s not.”
In a recent column, Ann Coulter, never one to mince words, said of Kwanzaa: “[It] is a lunatic blend of schmaltzy ‘60s rhetoric, black racism and Marxism.” She added, “When Karenga was asked to distinguish Kawaida, the philosophy underlying Kwanzaa, from ‘classical Marxism,’ he essentially explained that under Kawaida, we also hate whites.”
Listen, I love learning about other cultures. At Liberty University, where I am the chancellor, this year we welcomed students from 83 nations among our 10,000-plus resident students. Further, nearly 14 percent of our student body is African-American. I truly enjoy meeting these students, hearing their stories and celebrating their life goals. It is fascinating to learn about others’ customs and ways of life.
But I cannot accept Kwanzaa as a legitimate American holiday. It is corrupt and wholly anti-American. There is danger in it.
I join with Ann Coulter in celebrating Galatians 3:28, which notes that the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ is available to all, no matter their race, color, background or heritage. It says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus …” (NKJV).
Therein lies real diversity and true freedom for all."
Saturday, December 30, 2006
As a disclaimer, I'm using my own scoring system here; which means if I don't make a pick because of the game in question being useless…which is a lot of them, I get the "W" if I achieve my stated goal.
With that being said, let's review the 2nd round:
* Emerald Bowl: I took a risk and picked the Nole's to pull out the "W" in the land of fruit and nuts…and the said bowl named after a nut company. Bobby's boys helped him avoid his first losing season in 30 years.
* Independence Bowl: OSU gave the Tide every opportunity to win…which is something the Alumni Booster Club won't allow, and they still loss.
* Holiday Bowl: I stuck my neck out on this one and picked the Aggies to beat the loony lefties from Berkley; my first wrong pick.
* Texas Bowl: Even though I picked them, I'm still shocked by how easily Rutgers won this one.
* Music City Bowl: I was kind of expecting a UK upset in this one, and should have called it…that's my 2nd wrong pick.
* Sun Bowl: The Beavers by one…my kids scored more in gifts from Mamaw and Papaw; I'll call this a "W".
* Liberty Bowl: High scoring first half and the Gamecock's woke up in the 2nd half for a big win.
* Insight Bowl: We ate at Dos Loco Gringos instead of Amigo Juan's, it's still Mexican and Tech apparently won by 3…it's a win for me.
* Champs Sports Bowl: Stupid quarter…Terps win easily.
This takes my record, according to my patented scoring system to 14-3…now to the 3rd round, all the remaining bowls that are not BCS.
* Meineke Car Care Bowl in Charlotte, Dec 30: Navy (9-3) vs. Boston College (9-3).
Meineke? Don't they do mufflers? The resurgent Midshipmen bring a strong rushing game into Charlotte against BC. Matching records…should be interesting.
My Pick: Toss up, but I'm a patriotic type…Go Navy!
* Alamo Bowl in San Antonio, Dec 30: Texas (9-3) vs. Iowa (6-6)
The defending National Champion have to settle for a trip down the road to the Alamo Dome in what appears to be a huge miss match.
My Pick: There is no reason the Longhorns shouldn't win this one.
* Chick-fil-A Bowl in Atlanta, Dec 30: Georgia (8-4) vs. Va. Tech (10-2)
The artist formally known as the Peach Bowl has now sold its soul to corporate sponsorship and has the traditional SEC vs. ACC match up. Last year my beloved Tigers rolled all over the Miami Hurricanes, this year the Bulldogs from Athens get the Hokies.
My Pick: UGA had a rather uninspiring season that started with a lot of potential, I would hope they finish strong; Dawgs for the win.
* MPC Computers Bowl in Boise, Dec 30: Miami (6-6) vs. Nevada (8-4)
Wasn't this that stupid Humanitarian Bowl that had the 2nd place C-USA team in the past playing on that stupid blue turf? Miami has to settle for this? Oh how the mighty have fallen! As for Nevada…do they have a football team?
My Pick: Usually I refuse to follow this game and could care less who is in it or won it, but out of utter disdain for the Hurricane's I'm pulling for Nevada.
* Outback Bowl in Tampa, Jan 1: Tennessee (9-3) vs. Penn State (8-4)
Two former National Champions face off after a lack luster season that started full of potential for both. Two great coaches going head to head, Fulmer from UT and the old school Joe Paterno returning to the sidelines with a broken leg.
My Pick: This really is a toss up for me, but I think the Vols may be able to pull it out.
* Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Jan 1: Auburn (10-2) vs. Nebraska (9-4)
For the first time since having their hearts handed to them by Miami in the National Championship game a few years ago, the Huskers made a little run in the Big 12. Auburn had everything going for them after they stole a victory from LSU early in the season, and then gave it all away by not showing up against Arkansas.
My Pick: I'll take an under achieving SEC team over an under achieving Big 12 team any day…War Eagle!
* Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, Jan 1: West Virginia (10-2) vs. Ga. Tech (9-4)
At least this game hasn't sold its naming rights yet, and is still being played on New Years day! The one time National Championship hopeful WVU taking on the Rambling Wreck from Ga. Tech who lost the ACC to the Baptist boys from Wake.
My Pick: As weak as I think the Big East really is, I do think the Mountaineers are the better team here.
* Capital One Bowl in Orlando, Jan 1: Arkansas (10-3) vs. Wisconsin (11-1)
The annual consolation game for the Big 10 and SEC has the Hogs taking on the Badgers. Wisconsin had a great season, but came short against the Wolverines, while the Hogs started off with a beating from USC and ended on a 2 game skid.
My Pick: As strong as I think the Hog's are in the running game, I think Wisconsin may have the upper hand in this one.
* International Bowl in Toronto, Jan 6: Western Michigan (8-4) vs. Cincinnati (7-5)
Why is a game this pointless being played during the BCS games, and why are they playing in Canada? But then again, maybe this type of game is what Canada deserves.
My Pick: The US college football fan…not having to see this game played on US soil!
* GMAC Bowl in Mobile, Jan 7: Ohio (9-4) vs. USM (8-5)
What did I say about pointless games during BCS week? I went to school in Hattiesburg, but I don't think the Eagles deserve to be in the national spot light during the premier week of college football…and neither does the Bobcats from Ohio making their first bowl appearance since the Lincoln Administration.
My Pick: I'll say Southern just because…but I still think they should have played this game 2 weeks ago!
Alrighty then…this wraps up part 3 of my pigskin prognosticating. I should have my BCS picks up shortly.
Until then, happy New Year and enjoy the games!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Right now it is nearly 9PM in Baghdad, and it seems like it will most likely take place tomorrow...before the end of the year.
As a militant muslim, no doubt Saddam plans on going out as a "martyr", but i don't think he will like what he finds on the other side...and i won't be 70 virgins.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Ford is a one of a kind in that he is the only person to ever hold the office of Vice President and President without being elected for either.
President George W. Bush is set to make a statement in the morning concering the loss of President Ford, but released this statement which can be found on the White House website:
"Laura and I are greatly saddened by the passing of former President Gerald R. Ford.
President Ford was a great American who gave many years of dedicated service to our country. On August 9, 1974, after a long career in the House of Representatives and service as Vice President, he assumed the Presidency in an hour of national turmoil and division. With his quiet integrity, common sense, and kind instincts, President Ford helped heal our land and restore public confidence in the Presidency.
The American people will always admire Gerald Ford's devotion to duty, his personal character, and the honorable conduct of his administration. We mourn the loss of such a leader, and our 38th President will always have a special place in our Nation's memory. On behalf of all Americans, Laura and I offer our deepest sympathies to Betty Ford and all of President Ford's family. Our thoughts and prayers will be with them in the hours and days ahead. "
May he rest in peace.
* Poinsettia: I picked TCU, they won 37-7…enjoy your fruitcake boys.
* Las Vegas: I picked BYU; they won 38-8 and then quickly make a trek out of the Den of Sin back to Provo in time to hear the Tabernacle Choir sing.
* New Orleans: I picked Troy; they won 41-17 and then had to tell everyone that they are not USC’s JV squad.
* New Mexico: I picked “Justice”, San Jose State did win as I expected and I still think Ron Trott is great!
* Papa Johns: I picked Domino’s to make a lot of pizzas and although I haven’t seen the sales totals, I have no doubt that they did…this is a “gimme” and South Florida won the game for those keeping score at home.
* Armed Forces: My 5 year old said Utah, and the kid is a natural! The Utes won 25-14.
* Hawaii: I picked Hawaii and the home field helped, 41-24.
* Motor City: I got the DVD player in the van and Central Michigan won the game for what it is worth, so I’ll call that a win!
Now let’s move on to my 2nd set of picks.
* Emerald Bowl at San Francisco, Dec. 27: Florida State (6-6) vs. UCLA (7-5)
Bobby Bowden and his boys are having one of the worst seasons EVER and have to travel to the land of fruit and nuts to face the Bruins who pulled out the upset of USC to keep them out of the BCS title game.
My Pick: I like FSU, but have respect for UCLA this time for beating USC… but I’ll have to go with the Noles in a close one though.
* Independence Bowl at Shreveport, Dec. 28: Oklahoma State (6-6) vs. Alabama (6-6)
My secretary is an OSU fan and Bama’s alumni boosters are trying to ruin that great football heritage in the name of Bear Bryant.
My Pick: In honor of Mrs. Maggie…Go Cowboys! OSU for the win.
* Holiday Bowl at San Diego, Dec 28: Cal (9-3) vs. Texas A&M (9-3)
Hmm…this is a tough one. A bit of a home field advantage for the Bears, but the Aggies are a pretty good bowl team and I still remember them destroying BYU in the Holiday Bowl back in the 90’s. This is another tough call but…
My Pick: A&M.
* Texas Bowl at Houston, Dec. 28: Rutgers (10-2) vs. Kansas State (7-5)
The Cinderella of the Big East, Rutgers against the once powerful K-State out of the Big 12 playing in ANOTHER renamed bowl game; formally known as the “Houston Bowl”. Wow, such unique names, huh? And why are there 3 bowl games on this day? It’s a Thursday for Pete’s sake!
My Pick: I’ll say Rutgers, although I do think their clock is about to strike midnight.
* Music City Bowl, Dec. 29 at Nashville (DUH!): Clemson (8-4) vs. Kentucky (7-5)
The new Bowden of college football is taking his Tigers into Nashville to play a surprising UK team that actually finished above .500. Although I think the Cats can pull an upset in what is almost a home game for them, I’ll go with the boys from the ACC in this one.
My Pick: Clemson
* Sun Bowl at El Paso, Dec. 29: Oregon State (9-4) vs. Missouri (8-4)
A team that finished in the middle of the Pac 10 is facing a team that finished in the middle of the Big 12…zzzzz. Sorry, did I fall asleep? If I watch this game, I might. This game is on at 2:00 in the afternoon on the Friday my in-laws arrive.
My Pick: My kids…Mamaw and Papaw are here!
* Liberty Bowl at Memphis, Dec. 29: South Carolina (7-5) vs. Houston (10-3)
The Old Ball Coach is coming out of the SEC to take on the Cougars fresh off of winning the Conference USA. How come a match-up of the 8th place team in the SEC and the winner of a Conference USA is considered to be “Even”…and it really is? Pretty sad.
My Pick: A lot of game still left in the Old Ball Coach, the Gamecocks will be walking in Memphis.
* Insight Bowl at Phoenix, Dec. 29: Texas Tech (7-5) vs. Minnesota (6-6).
Game #4 of the 5 scheduled for this day has the Red Raiders out of the Big 12 facing the .500 Golden Gophers of the Big 10 in another WHO CARES match up. Folks, we really have too many bowl games…
My Pick: Dinner at Amigo Juan’s in Hope!
* Champs Sports Bowl in Orlando, Dec. 29: Purdue (8-5) vs. Maryland (8-4)
The last of the Friday night games has the Boilermakers who finished 5th in the Big 10 going head to head against the Terps who finished 6th in the ACC. You know, about 10 years ago both of these teams would have been sitting at home in December with those records drinking the last of the eggnog and eating leftover ham.
My Pick: Heads for Purdue, Tails for Maryland…it landed on heads, so I guess I’ll say Purdue.
Next up…all of the games heading up to the BCS match ups. Enjoy!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
What if Jesus came? Did not his Father send him? If he was made a child did not the Holy Ghost beget him? If he spake wondrously, did not his Father pour grace into his lips, that he might be an able minister of the new covenant? If his Father did forsake him when he drank the bitter cup of gall, did he not love him still? And did he not, by-and by, after three days, raise him from the dead, and at last receive him up on high, leading captivity captive? Ah! Beloved, he who knoweth the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost as he should know them, never setteth one before another; he is not more thankful to one than the other; he sees them at Bethlehem, at Gethsemane, and on Calvary, all equally engaged in the work of salvation. “He shall come forth unto me.”
O Christian, hast thou put thy confidence in the man Christ Jesus? Hast thou placed thy reliance solely on him? And art thou united with him? Then believe that thou art united unto the God of heaven; since to the man Christ Jesus thou art brother and holdest closest fellowship, thou art linked thereby with God the Eternal, and “the Ancient of days” is thy Father and thy friend. “He shall come forth unto me“. Did you never see the depth of love there was in the heart of Jehovah, when God the Father equipped his Son for the great enterprise of mercy?
There had been a sad day in Heaven once before, when Satan fell, and dragged with him a third of the stars of heaven, and when the Son of God launching from his great right hand the Omnipotent thunders, dashed the rebellious crew to the pit of perdition; but if we could conceive a grief in heaven, that must have been a sadder day, when the Son of the Most High left his Father’s bosom, where he had lain from before all worlds “Go,” saith the Father, “and thy Father’s blessing on thy head!”
Then comes the unrobing. How do angels crowd around to see the Son of God take off his robes He laid aside his crown; he said, “My father, I am Lord over all, blessed for ever, but I will lay my crown aside, and be as mortal men are.” He strips himself of his bright vest of glory; “Father,” he says, “I will wear a robe of clay, just such a men wear.” Then he takes off all those jewels wherewith he was glorified; he lays aside his starry mantles and robes of light, to dress himself in the simple garments of the peasant of Galilee. What a solemn disrobing that must have been!
And next, can you picture the dismissal! The angels attend the Saviour through the streets, until they approach the doors: when an angel cries, “Lift up your heads, O ye gates, and be ye lifted up ye everlasting doors, and let the king of glory through!” Oh! Methinks the angels must have wept when they lost the company of Jesusâ€”when the Sun of Heaven bereaved them of all its light. But they went after him. They descended with him; and when his spirit entered into flesh and he became a babe, he was attended by that mighty host of angels, who after they had been with him to Bethlehem’s manger, and seen him safely, laid on his mother’s breast, in their journey upwards appeared to the shepherds and told them that he was born king of the Jews.
The Father sent him! Contemplate that subject. Let your soul get hold of it, and in every period of his life think that he suffered what the Father willed; that every step of his life was marked with the approval of the great I AM. Let every thought that you have of Jesus be also connected with the eternal, ever-blessed God; for “he,” saith Jehovah, “shall come forth unto me.” Who sent him, then? The answer is, his Father.
— Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834-1892)
The Incarnation and the Birth of Christ
Preached on December 23, 1855
New Park Street Baptist Church, Southwark, England
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Wait a minute? Poinsettia Bowl? 32 bowl games? OK, there is seriously something wrong that picture. But I’ll go ahead and make my predictions.
For those of you who are used of me saying something uplifting and inspirational…forget about seeing that here. You will find that I have a great appreciation for college football as well as sarcasm. I don’t mean to offend, but if it happens…all is fair in love and football!
So, here is part 1 of my college bowl predictions.
* Poinsettia Bowl at San Diego, Dec 19: Northern Illinois (7-5) vs. TCU (10-2).
25th ranked Horn Frogs of TCU take on…Northern Illinois? HUH? OK, when the 3rd best team in the Western division of the Mid-American Conference gets a bowl game, we may have too many! Not to mention this is a second game in San Diego which has a hard enough time pulling in fans for a winning Charges game. Hey, maybe then can open the border and offer tickets to whoever crosses legally!
My pick: TCU, they have a defense, and they are playing Northern Illinois
* Las Vegas Bowl at Las Vegas (DUH!), Dec. 21: BYU (10-2) vs. Oregon (7-5).
Shouldn’t this be in San Diego in the Holiday Bowl???? BYU which traditionally has a strong passing game that matches their belief in the prophet Joseph Smith will be taking on the fashionistas of the PAC 10, Oregon. The Ducks are in a better conference but they tend to get their tails handed to them by decent teams. I’m not sure if BYU’s defense will be able to keep the Ducks from scoring, but I’m pretty sure the Ducks won’t stop the Mormon boy’s air game.
My Pick: BYU, bless be the prophet, lol!
* New Orleans Bowl at New Orleans (for real this year!), Dec. 22: Rice (7-5) vs. Troy (7-5).
Rice is making its first bowl appearance since before the Bill of Rights was written, and Troy…wasn’t he a guy I went to high school with? Once again, more proof of too many bowl games. Rice was tied for 3rd in C-USA and Troy won that all so tough Sun Belt conference.
My Pick: Who cares! Troy, at least they won their pathetic conference!
* New Mexico Bowl at Albuquerque, NM, Dec. 23: New Mexico (6-6) vs. San Jose St (8-4).
OK, so New Mexico is .500 and “hosting” a bowl game is probably the only chance they have of being in one going against the team that finished tied for 3rd in the WAC. Please shoot me?
My Pick: Hey, a new “Justice” is on…you gotta love Ron Trott!
* Papa Johns Bowl at Birmingham, AL, Dec. 23: South Florida (8-4) vs. East Carolina (7-5)
I guess this means Louisville has lost more hope of hosting another bowl game. And I can find North and South Carolina on my map…but I can’t find East Carolina. And as for South Florida…no habla Espanol!
My Pick: Domino’s Pizza, I bet they will make tons of sales during this one!
* Armed Forces Bowl at Ft Worth, TX, Dec. 23: Tulsa (8-4) vs. Utah (7-5)
The game now formally known as the Ft Worth Bowl (where did they get such a catchy name!) is now being played in honor of the men in and women in our Armed Forces. Too bad they couldn’t draw anything better than the 3rd place team in the C-USA and 3rd in the Mountain West.
My Pick: Utah, because my 5 year old said so.
* Hawaii Bowl at Honolulu, HI, Dec. 24: Hawaii (10-3) vs. Arizona St (7-5)
Didn’t this used to be called the Aloha Bowl and played on Christmas Day? I guess calling it the “Hawaii” Bowl guarantees the Rainbow Warriors getting a bowl bid…kind of like the reason we have the Fiesta Bowl so that Arizona St. can get a bowl game! Wait, why are the Sun Devils in Hawaii then????
My Pick: Home field advantage…Hawaii
* Motor City Bowl at Detroit, Dec. 26: Middle Tennessee (7-5) vs. Central Michigan (9-4).
The day after Christmas…I’m going to ignore this game, like everyone else, and play with the toys my kids got at Christmas.
My Pick: Anything else.
Well, that is part 1, only 3 more to go! Woo Hoo! I love me some college football!
Monday, December 18, 2006
For the last 4 years Hillary has made herself out to be a "supporter" of our troops who are fighting the war on terror by dodging questions related to her alleged "support" of the war effort and even took time to visit the troops in Iraq a couple of years ago. But those days of bliss and encouragement are apparently gone as she positions herself for a run in the 2008 Jackass Primary.
This morning on NBC's "Today" show, Sen. Clinton was asked about her 2002 vote and offered a slightly evolved answer. "Obviously, if we knew then what we know now, there wouldn't have been a vote," she said in her usual refrain before adding, "and I certainly wouldn't have voted that way." What has brought such a change? Barak Obama stepping up as the future of the democrats and his opposition to the war effort.
I'm telling you, these next couple of years are going to be pretty interesting, especially for the democrats who are on the verge of implosion...of the Howard Dean "Scream" magnitude.
Apparently, every year around this time in the UK a poll is taken among the children in that region of the world (whose morals, standards, etc are similar to those in the US) to determine what makes them happy and what is important to them. According to British pollster Luton First, a survey of kids under the age of 10 said the best things in the world in order of 1-10 are as follows:
Being a celebrity
OK, in light of the recent news concerning Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton…how much are we actually doing to encourage this sort of mindset?
And not just that, but look at the toys out there. $600 game systems that people are willing to rob and kill over; Bratz dolls that show little girls at an early age what it means to be a slut, and Saturday morning cartoons that should make parents blush.
It did appear though that God managed to rank #1 as the “Most Famous” person in this same study, …although somehow that Jesus made the list at #3. Glad to see that they are developing the next generation of theologians over there! If there is any hope in this, both Jesus and God did finish ahead of #4 David Beckham and the Queen of England at #5.
Who was number 2 you ask: none other than Wayne Rooney! Who is Wayne Rooney you ask…well so did I. He is a forward for the Manchester United Soccer Club in England.
I need some duct tape…I think the head is getting closer to exploding.
If you want to see the actual report: http://www2.luton.gov.uk/tour/html/kidsday.doc
Friday, December 15, 2006
The Columbus Ledger-Enquirer reports that the company, Golden State Fence Co. and 2 of the company's executives agreed to pay nearly $5 million in fines for hiring at least 10 illegal aliens to work on a 14 mile border fence along the Mexican border in the late 1990's. The hiring of illegals by the fence company apparently took place between 1999 and 2005, with US Immigration officials estimating at least 100 of Golden State Fence's employees were unauthorized to work.
OK, anyone else think there is a border problem yet??????
They gave the would be Santa the boot saying that only "approved characters" can be portrayed in the park.
I need some duct tape, i think my head is about to explode!
As a result of this event the drive by media was foaming at the mouth with the possibility of a possible GOP move to reclaim some control of the Senate should things not improve with Sen. Johnson. Truth be told, it really is sickening considering the man's life is in danger and all someone can care about is political jockeying.
And as far as i can tell it was not the GOP or even the Democrats wanting to discuss this, only the MEDIA! The 4th estate that has managed to do everything possible to ruin the greatest country on God's green earth.
At the same time though, I have no doubt that people like San Fran Nan Pelosi and Dirty Harry Pelosi have much use for Sen. Johnson in terms of advancing their agenda, other than the fact that he gives them a "majority" in terms of number of Democrats.
I continue to pray for a full recovery for Sen. Johnson, and hopefully our country can also recover from a much worst condition.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
It does bother me in a way though that they are already discussing the possible shift in power in the US Senate as a result of this. SD has a GOP Governor who would more than likely appoint a Republican to fill the seat of Sen. Johnson if needed; splitting the evenly at 50-50 with VP Cheney having the deciding vote.
Of course, if Sen. Johnson is indeed deemed "incapacitated" and unable to do his job, i don't see a problem since the vast majority of the members of both houses are congress are basically brain dead to begin with.
Speaking of which (and this is way off subject, but it's my blog...so get over it!), our favorite psycho nut babe from Georgia, former Rep. Cynthia McKinney has introduced legislation to impeach President Bush before she is escorted out of the House to slug a cop for one last time. You can read about it here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,235637,00.html .
Keep in mind she also introduced legislation to have a collection Tupac Shakur's recordings placed at the National Archives and a federal probe launched to investigate his death.
I wonder if there is an available bed for her????
SENATOR JOHN KERRY
304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510
DEAR SENATOR KERRY:
WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB. WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.
1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?
2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?
3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE HEART?
4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?
5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?
6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.
JUST A DUMB G.I.
P.S.--WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME ON HOW TO MEET REALLY RICH WOMEN?
Monday, December 11, 2006
What makes this new release different from the old one is a new introduction that apparently has a bit more of an urgency in tone for the need of proper child rearing as a result of 9/11 and the internet. The AP reports the former First Lady's new intro saying, "The five years since 9/11 have reinforced one of my main points: How children are raised anywhere can impact our lives and our children's futures." She goes on to add, "Today's electronic village has certainly complicated the always difficult challenge of parenting and raising the next generation," noting that in 1996 fewer people were on the Internet and cell phones "weighed as much as bricks." Her main point is still the same...the government will do a much better job at raising kids than any family can, especially those who would tend to have conservative ideals and a mistrust for government intervention.
The other major change to the book is this:
Her face now graces the cover. Can you say "Get your face out in public?"
An to be honest, this is not a face i want to see any more than i have to.
Once again, 2007 and 2008 should be lively, at the very least. But i will stick by my previous statement that the democrats running the House and the Senate will so screw things up for people like Hillary and Obama, that they will have little chance of winning the White House in 2008. In fact, i wouldn't be surprised to see the GOP win the White House again as well as at least one of the houses of Congress when this bunch of yo-yo's are done.
And in case you are wondering, the only book i look to for how to raise my kids is the Bible...it has been proven correct time and time again!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
I love this! A group of students at the University of Texas made an 'ACLU Solstice Barn' which substitutes for the dreaded Nativity Scene on the university campus. This subsitute for the much maligned Nativity features Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin as the three Wise Men and Nancy Pelosi in the role of PC angel perched high on top.
The ACLU Solstice Barn doesn't end it's celebration of idiocy there, "We've got Gary and Joseph instead of Mary and Joseph in order to symbolize ACLU support for homosexual marriage, and of course there isn't a Jesus in the manger," said Tony McDonald, chairman of the Young Conservatives of Texas branch on the Austin campus.
For those who are wondering what the 3 leaders of the Soviet Communist Revolution have to do with the ACLU, it is because the group's founder Roger Baldwin was a staunch supporter of Soviet-style communism when he was the leader of the organization. WND reports that when Baldwin was head of the ACLU in 1934 he wrote an article entitled "Freedom in the U.S.A. and the U.S.S.R." in which he said "the Soviet Union has already created liberties far greater than exist elsewhere in the world." He later moderated his views but maintained a commitment to socialism. I'm sure this may come as a surprise to many who support the ACLU, but will probably only make their support stronger.
My favorite touch thouch has got to be the "terrorist shepherd" complete with bombs strapped to his waist, obviously he is present after hearing the good news of something being born (since Jesus isn't allowed and unborn babies are not "living" or "human" according to the left) from the angelic San Fran Nan.
And you know it has got to be horns holding that halo up!
Anyway, i got a huge kick out of it, and the picture is above for your viewing pleasure.
And as always, especially for the ACLU...MERRY CHRISTMAS and may GOD BLESS YOU in the remainder of 2006!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
I do realize that Dr. Robert Gates is before the Senate Armed Forces Committee (which like most other Senate committees is a joke) seeking confirmation as the new Secretary of Defense, and that the Midwest is still being battered by that winter storm (hello...winter time, do you expect Hi's in the 70's?); but i think it's time to just sit back and relax a bit.
I found this great video on YouTube featuring none other than Dr. Albert Mohler, distinquished President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. Most people see Dr. Mohler as kind of a stiff guy and way too much of an intellectual...until you get to know him. I had a theology class under him and realized there is really another side to Dr. Mohler, and you can see that in this video.
Enjoy! You can check out the link:
or watch it here:
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
OK, here is my summary of last night's election returns as the attorneys begin moving into place for the next few months of challenges. There were some big winners and some big losers, and here is my break down of each.
First of all, WINNERS:
* Joe Lieberman (I-CT), the newly re-elected Senator from CT ran as an Independent after his own party threw him to the wolves...and i hope that memory stays fresh in his mind. He is now the hottest free agent since Shaq in the NBA. Both sides will be offering him power positions for his vote, and personally, i think he needs to come to the other side of the aisle.
* The Mainstream media. Since 1994 they have been fighting to get their comrades on the left back into control of Congress and since 2000 to destroy President Bush. Now they are going to work at building up that legacy that Bill Clinton never had.
* Bobby Jindal (R-LA). Bobby Jindal is setting himself up for another run for the governor's office in LA by gaining over 80% of his district. After Katrina when Kathleen "Call me Babineaux only at Election Time" Blanco and the New Orleans Candy Man Ray Nagin were flipping out, Jindal was knee deep in water getting work done. He should have beat Blanco previously, and will probably pull it out next time.
* Leftist Special Interest Groups. With San Fran Nan Pelosi and her cohorts running the House, expect every freedom hating special interest group to suddenly have a say in Washington.
* Islamofascists. Think about this: "Of course Americans should vote Democrat," said Jihad Jaara, a senior member of the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades terror group and the infamous leader of the 2002 siege of Bethlehem's Church of the Nativity. Scary, huh?!?!
* Young Conservatives. I do think that young conservatives who are tired of the status quo now have an opportunity to rise up. We need another Republican Revolution, like we saw in 1994...but with a lot less grey hair and wrinkles. Don't get me wrong, i like Denny Hastert, but it's time for a new leader.
And now, let's consider some of the Losers:
* Hillary. Yep, Hillary is a loser in this one because the dems are going to so screw things up over the next 2 years that i don't think she will have ANY chance (or any other democrat) in 2008.
* Harold Ford, Jr. (D-TN). A pretty good Congressman who was pretty conservative on a lot of issues left his House seat to run for Senate, and lost in a close race. This is probably good for him though, as i will point out later, because as a moderate/conservative democrat he will have no hope in a Pelosi led House.
* Conservative-Moderate Democrats. Newly elected Congressmen like Heath Schuler (NC) who is actually a conservative Christian and re-elected "Blue Dog Democrats" like Mike Ross (AR) and Charlie Melancon (LA) are basically "useful idiots" in the Pelosi led House. Their elections may have helped the dems gain control, but they have no hope of holding any position of influence unless they are willing to sacrifice their beliefs, morals and convictions at the San Fran Nan's alter.
* The State of MD. They had the opportunity to elect a great African American leader in Michael Steele, but gave in to the hate mongering and lies.
* The State of AR. Across the board dems elected to the highest offices in the state, along with 2 dem Senators and only one Republican in the House. There is little to no hope for those of us in this state who have morals and convictions.
* The US Economy. Already the stock markets are seeing a drop after this mess of an election built upon lies and deception. And once the dems start working to raise our taxes and increase spending...it won't be pretty.
* The United States of America. We are looking at a miserable 2 years because of the quagmire that Pelosi and her cohorts are going to create between now and 2008.
Well, the damage is done folks...let's knock the dust off, put some ice on our back sides from the kicking we just took and GET BACK INTO THE FIGHT! Like Eric Cantor (R-VA), one of the few re-elected Republicans in the House said, "This is a message from the voters that we really need to step up and reclaim the mantle of reform that propelled us to power 12 years ago."
Carpe Diem...Seize the Day!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Thankfully it looks like the GOP will maintain a small control of the Senate...but it will be so close that with the RINO's (Republicans In Name Only, like Olympia Snowe) running around, it might as well be in the hands of the dems.
So, without further ado...here is what our new House of Reps will look like for the next two years. Be afraid, yes, be VERY afraid.
Speaker of the House: San Fran Nan Pelosi (CA). The current House Majority Leader who has ruled for the last 2 years with an iron fist and demanding clear partisan politics (her own words). She has in the recent past called Republicans "corrupt" and "immoral" and called our Commander In Chief "incompetent". That's right, the best friend of Cindy Sheehan is running the show!
Chair of the House Ways and Means Committee: Charlie Rangel (NY). His goal is to get rid of all of President Bush's tax cuts that have clearly helped strengthen our economy and will push for higher taxes. Keep in mind this is the same Charles Rangel who tried to have the military draft reinstated last year and when asked if he would put tax increases on the agenda, responded with "No question about it."
Chair of the House Financial Services Committee: Bawney Fwank (MA), the Northeast's favorite homo with a lisp. Keep in mind that Barney Frank's political views are left of both Castro and the ACLU, and he almost makes Kerry/Kennedy look somewhat normal (ok, maybe not so much). Frank was also one of 3 no votes on the Fallen Heroes Act that made it illegal to protest within 500 feet of a fallen soldiers funeral. Now he is over our banking system...woo hoo.
Chair of the House Committee on Appropriations: David Obey (WI). His goal is to raise the minimum wage (and therefore raise the cost of living for everyone!), and cut funding on the war in Iraq.
Chair of the House Judiciary Committee: John Conyers (MI). This is the same John Conyers that set up a mock impeachment hearing in the Capital basement (on our tax dollars). Conyers has also specifically said there will be a lot of time (and once again, our tax dollars) spent on investigating the Bush Administration and the war in Iraq...with hopes of moving to a real impeachment hearing, no doubt.
Yeah...we have a lot of good to look forward to, now don't we? 2 years of nothing more than more political venom being spit out of the mouths of the democrats.
It will have nothing to do with the good of our country, but will have EVERYTHING to do with their hatred of President Bush and their own greed for power.
Should we also lose the Senate to these goofballs, and i'm praying that God would not choose to punish us in that way, i will also present potential leaders in that House also.
Yep, if we ever needed God back in our lives and our country, it is now!
OK, maybe hearing "Speaker of the House Pelosi" tomorrow morning would be way worst, but at least we have some sort of humorous outlet in this!
Friday, November 03, 2006
This list, as verified by the Federal Elections Commission, showed how much money was donated by various groups to the 2 major political parties. I'm not suggesting a boycott, because i can't stand them, but this may be something you want to consider over the next few days and weeks as you make a purchase. Ask yourself...just how much of your hard earned money is going to support a leftist candidate that will only do more harm than good to our country.
With that being said, here is my reprint of "A 'Blue' Christmas" from 2oo4:
Well, it appears that the whiney liberals still haven't realized how out of touch with reality they truly are with the majority of the good old US of A. As if the Hollyweird bunch and their guilt money going to DNC causes wasn't enough to make us sick, now they are trying to encourage a boycott of businesses who have donated a larger portion of their profits to the good guys of the GOP than to the nitwits on the left. The "Buy Blue" website shows Santa wearing blue to match the blue states which were won by the losing candidate John Kerry in the 2004 Presidential campaign (a reminder that the MINORITY of states and people voted for Kerry) and provides their idea of "Naughty" and "Nice" businesses based on who gave money to which political party. Their "Naughty" businesses include Fruit of the Loom, Cintas, Dollar General and Russell Stovers who each gave 100% of their political donations to Republican causes or PAC's. Also included in this list of vendors and sellers that WE should frequent a lot more often now is Walmart, Kmart, Circuit City, JC Penney, Sears, May Dept stores, The Limited Brand, Saks, Home Depot, Amazon.com, Guess and the Electronics Boutique from the retail world; Outback Steakhouse, Darden Restaurants, Yum Brands, Brinker Intl, and Cracker Barrel make the list for recommended eateries; Holiday Inn, Marriott, and Hilton are must stay hotels; and the list winds up with BP, Exxon/Mobil, Chevron/Texaco, Safeway foods, Publix foods, Halmark Cards and 5 of the major airlines (Continental, Delta, Southwest, United, and American). Once again, each of these companies have been labled as "naughty" by the libs because the larger percentage of their political contributions went to Republican groups (at least 56%). I will also add that Target also donated about 72% of $289K to Republican causes, so i suggest giving them a little bit of a break after Christmas, in spite of the issue with the Salvation Army bell ringers being banned from their stores.
Now, for their "Nice" list, which i would refer to as the "Never allow them to see your hard earned money again" list. Calvin Klein, J Crew, Anne Klein, Skechers, Astrale E Terra Winery, Hardrock Cafe, Triarc Companies (TJ Cinnamons and Arby's), Sonic Drive-ins, Phoenix Gas and Oil, Starbucks, Aloha and Hawaii airlines lead this black list with 100% of their contributions going to democrat or liberal political groups and PACS. Also included in this who's who of worthlessness is Price Club/Costco (98% to DNC), Barnes and Noble (98%), Bed Bath and Beyond ( 97%), Sharper Image (92.4%), Hyatt Hotels (97.8%), Estee Lauder (91%), Jet Blue (74%), and my personal favorite from this list, Shell Oil (56%, yeah it's just the Republicans making money off of the petroleum business, huh?). This donation information comes from The Center for Responsive Politics and the Federal Election Commission.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Honestly, I can't say who is to blame here.
You have a 1994 agreement between the US and North Korea that was negotiated by Madeline Albright and Jimmy Carter. First of all...when did Jimmy Carter become this foreign relations expert? As President of the US he handed the Panama Canal over to that Banana Republic only to have Manuel Noriega come in a few years later and demonstrate what a 3rd World Dictator at his best can be like; and then there is that little Iranian hostage crisis that ended with Reagan (a real President) taking office. Anyone ever noticed that one of those Iranian hostage takers looks an awful lot like current Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Hmmm....
Anyway, back to this waste of paper and US tax money from back in 1994. According to the official reports, North Korea committed to freezing its illicit plutonium weapons program in exchange for two proliferation-resistant nuclear reactors and additional aid. Yes, they would get nukes and money...and we trusted him (nod nod, wink wink).
How can we trust a 5'2" nutjob who wears 3 inch platform shoes that cost as much as $5000 a pair, claims to own 20,000 US movies, is an apparent aficionado of porn, and drinks as many as 20 glasses of wine during political negotiations. But then again, we are talking about Bill Clinton who probably saw someone who he could hang out with while Hillary was running for the Senate. Can't you see Bubba and Lil Kim at Hooter's harassing the servers?
On the other hand, we also have Iranian nutjob Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claiming that they only want nukes for power reasons...aren't they sitting on the largest collection of dinosaur bones on the planet? While would one of the richest oil producing nations in the world need nuclear power?
Here is why, there is an Islamic law called "Taiyya", it literally means: "Concealing or disguising one's beliefs, convictions, ideas, feelings, opinions, and/or strategies at a time of eminent danger, whether now or later in time, to save oneself from physical and/or mental injury." One of those times, is during Jihad...a holy war against the west for instance.
All I know is when I see these goose stepping soldiers in Iran and North Korea marching in front of missiles, it looks way too much like Hitler and Mussolini prior to WWII. Throw in Chavez down in Venezuela, and you got the full axis going.
And in closing, for your entertainment purposes, I thought I would include the following little ad I found in YouTube before the Clintonistas had it pulled off:
* Sorry i couldn't post the actual video...for some reason, and for the first time i couldn't post a video from YouTube on one of my sites; hmm....
Friday, October 06, 2006
I saw Shirley and one of her sisters (sorry, the name slips me, but as far as I’m concerned, it really isn’t all that important) on Fox News the other night after they were given an hour of air time by Mike Gallagher. It is my understanding that during this hour, they spilled out venom and filth from their mouths that would probably make a sailor blush. Exit interviews had them continuing to proclaim that anyone and everyone other than those in the Phelps organization are hell bound.
The reason, for the free airtime…Mike Gallagher offered it to them so that they would not protest at the funerals of the 5 Amish school girls killed in Lancaster, PA this past week. Some of the signs they intended to display said things like, “Your daughters are whores”. I even caught Shirley Phelps-Roper proclaiming that it was better for these girls to be killed now to avoid a life that would cause their stint in hell to be worst.
I CANNOT make this stuff up!
For those of you who are not familiar with this group of hate mongers, let me introduce them to you. According to their website, which I refuse to post on here, Fred Phelps grew up in Meridian, MS and was basically the all-American boy who even earned the honor of Eagle Scout. Ordained by a Southern Baptist Church in 1947 (I do hope this church has repented of that), he sometime later became a hyper-Calvinist (TULIP is their “church manifesto”) and a hate monger. His Westboro religious group (sorry, I REFUSE to call it a Baptist church) was formed in 1955. In fact, let’s call a spade a spade…they are a cult; plain and simple, a cult that preaches a false Gospel and does not speak in the name of the one true God.
Phelps also earned a law degree only to be disbarred by the Kansas Supreme Court in 1979 because they said he had, "little regard for the ethics of his profession” according an Anti-Defamation League article. He continued to attempt a law practice for the next 10 years and then staged his first protest in 1991 in Topeka, KS targeting a park that was known to be frequented by homosexuals.
Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of Fred Phelps, has become a bit of a media spokes-person for the Phelps cult. She has appeared on a number of shows on Fox News, as well as spewing her hate on Mike Gallagher this past week with her sister Margie (oh yeah, that's her name). They are just 2 of at least 5 attorneys in this family who apparently have mastered the art of twisting the 1st Amendment to support their hate that disgraces the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God.
Here’s what I have a problem with…ok, one of many things I have a problem with when it comes to these freaks: where is the Gospel of Jesus Christ?
They claim, according to their website that “God is love” is not a Biblical truth, when in fact 1 John 4:16 clearly says, “God is love”, and then there is that whole message of John 3 that apparently they have also ripped out of their Bibles for their sick and twisted purposes.
And then add to that, the only message I ever hear preached from Shirley et al is “repent” like the people of Nineveh or face the wrath of God. OK…I will agree that the US needs to repent and turn to God; but where do they repent and turn to?
Does not Romans 10:9-10, 13 say, “9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 13 For "whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved."”
Where is Christ, and Him crucified in all of their ranting and raving? Where is the life changing Gospel of salvation by grace through faith alone?
The next few verses of Romans 10 go on to add, “14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? 15 And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!" 16 But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, "Lord, who has believed our report?" 17 So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”
All they say is “repent, repent, repent…”, but there is nothing about where to turn. And where is the “Gospel of Peace” that Paul writes about in Romans 10:15. There is no peace in “God hates America” and “Your daughters are whores”…only HATE!
I feel sorry for Fred, Shirley, Margie and all of the other members of the Phelps cult, because I really do believe that Hell is going to be a little bit hotter for them as a result of this blasphemy.
Yes, I said “blasphemy” as in a violation of the 3rd Commandment found in Exodus 10:7…because in saying that they speak on behalf of God they are taking the name of the one true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and the Triune God in vain.
I’m praying for the salvation of the Phelps cult, and I pray that they will find God’s grace while it is still called today.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Their purpose, to show that the UN is about as useful as thumb tacks on toilet paper...and they do a pretty good job of proving it. In fact, click on their webpage and scroll down a bit to see a great snap shot of UN Secretary General Kofi Annan showing a little "We hate the US too" love to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
OK, remind me again...why does the UN still exist?
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Apparently yesterday America's least favorite militant lesiban said that "radical" Christianity is worst for the US than radical Islam. After fellow co-host Elizabeth Hasselback noted that militant Islam is a threat to free people (which is VERY true!) Rosie opened her mouth and let the garbage fly out. First she interrupted Ms. Hasselback with a firm and masculine "Just a minute", and then the queen of queens said, "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have separation of church and state."
It makes me wonder if Rosie, like the vast majority of extreme leftists who run around waving their "separation of church and state" flag have actually read the First Amendment of the Constitution. My guess would be a big "NO!"
Here is what it actually says for the big Rose or any one on the extreme left and it is not in real big words...you should be able to understand it:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
The entirety of this document can be found at the National Archives website, i suggest visiting it before running your mouth!
The first thing you should notice is that there is NOTHING there about the separation of church and state! NOTHING, NADA, ZILCH! It says that Congress will make NO LAWS respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise. In the last 230 years there has not been any laws made concerning a state mandated religion or church. This is what you find in nations like Iran, Saudi Arabia and through out the Middle East...but not in the Good Old US of A!
Second, as a "radical" Christian minister who is about as far right as you can be...i have yet to tell my flock to hijack a plane and fly it into a building. I also have not encouraged anyone to strap on a bomb and visit the local Sbarro pizza. And i have not cried out "Death to the infidels" in any of my sermons.
My point is, there is a VAST difference between Evangelical Christianity and Islamofascism. As followers of Christ we proclaim life and life more abundantly (John 10:10) while militant Muslims are agents of death and destruction. We offer hope and peace that can ONLY come through Christ (Phil 4:7) and they want to wreak havoc so that the 12 imam will rise up and bring in Armageddon.
No Ms. (i use that term very loosely!) O'Donnell, Evangelical Christianity is not more dangerous to the US than Islamofascism. But...i will add this, Evangelical Christianity is dangerous to your sinful way of life that violates God's holy Word and is an abomination to Him (Romans 1:18-32). So, as long as you choose to abandon God's will for your life and live in sin...yes, Christianity will seem "dangerous" to you.
God bless America and i will be praying for Rosie O'Donnell's soul!
Monday, September 11, 2006
I went in and found Caleb sitting on the office chair looking at a small piece of pottery, a little clay pot i brought back from my mission trip in Honduras in college. Now, this was not just any souvenir, but my ONLY souvenir from my trip there since i went there totally on faith and with NO MONEY on me at all. This little pot was given to each member of our team from the pastor of the little Baptist church in Gracias Lempira, Honduras that we worked with. Not a good moment for me, in fact, i told Brig to deal with Caleb while i cleaned up the remains of what seemed like my memories at the moment.
But while cleaning the pieces up God reminded me that this was just a little clay pot, it was bound to break at some point any way. It was broken by a little boy, and that is what little boys do, they break things...but this was not just any little boy, it was MY little boy. So i finished sweeping up the pieces and went into Caleb's room to talk to him.
He's only 5, so i'm not sure how much of this he really understood, but i let him know that what he broke was really special to me...but not as special to me as he was and that nothing can change that because our relationship as father and son was most important to me.
Let's go back 5 years now...9/11/01. On that day a hand full of Muslims with a deep, dark hatred for the US and our way of life decided to take fate into their own hands and flew three planes into the World Trade Center Towers and the Pentagon...one more was probably headed for the Capital if it weren't for the brave passengers aboard flight 93 which crashed into a field in PA. On that day the great and mighty US was nothing more than a little clay pottery pot, put together by the hands of man and due to probably break at some point. And that is what we did, we fell and we were broken...not our greatest moment by any stretch of the imagination, and a moment that will by planted firmly into our minds for generations to come.
And in the background is God, our Father, the true potter who i do believe wants us to see that what is most important is His relationship with us.
It has nothing to do with religion...religious people were flying the planes that day. Nor does it have anything to do with church attendance which spiked in the weeks after 9/11 only to return to the status quo by January 2002. It didn't even have anything to do with what we can do, and i still believe that we are the most powerful country on the face of this earth...but even that couldn't save us on that day.
Our only source of hope comes to us in a relationship with God...through Jesus Christ alone. Jesus said in John 17:3, "Now this is eternal life, to know the one true God and Jesus Christ who He sent." Our source of strength doesn't come to us in high rise towers made of clay and earth, but in a humbled heart and bended knee when we "humble our selves in the sight of the Lord" so that "he will lift us up" (James 4:10).
God has blessed America, i really do believe that. And i do believe that God will be willing to bless America again if we were to humble ourselves, pray and seek His face, and turn to Him (not just in word or theory, but in reality). He has promised to heal our land, and He will heal our land based on His word (2 Chron. 7:14).
I believe it has got to start with the church though...the church HAS GOT TO BE THE CHURCH AGAIN! Not just a social club where the most "powerful" decide what takes place. We need to be a living organism like what we see in Acts 2 that is driven by a purpose, inspired by a vision and empowered and lead by the Spirit of God. The Church of Jesus Christ in the United States is a sleeping giant...and i think it is time to wake that giant up!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
First of all, Katrina made me realize how blessed i truly was. I was in Ascension Parish, LA at this time last year...located around I-10 in Southeastern LA; about 30 minutes outside of Baton Rouge and 45 minutes outside of Kenner, LA.
We stayed put in our home in St Amant as Katrina blew through our region with her wrath, no chance for us to evacuate due to the "powers that wanted to be" at our previous place of service felt it unnecessary to cancel services until the last minute. I guess that is neither here nor there now, but i do know if i could have moved my family out of there for their safety...i would have.
For Katrina we got the "clean side" of the storm, meaning as that as the storm circled on land and moved southwest back towards the Gulf, that is what hit us.
We lost power for some time, lost some trees on our property and at the church, as well as the church sign. Nothing major, especially when you consider just a 45 minute drive down I-10 was Kenner 3-5 feet under water and New Orleans.
A few weeks later we got the far end of the dirty side of Rita as she moved through the LA/TX coast, and saw about 12 hours of rain and the loss of the other side of the church sign. Once again, a reminder of how blessed we were because it could have been a lot worst for us. And because it could have been a lot worst we did what we could help those who were not as fortunate.
Now my thoughts on Katrina a year later:
First, who is to blame? Michael Brown was a nitwit and should have never been in charge of FEMA, so i do say President Bush has to accept, and i do believe he has accepted responsibility for the way FEMA dropped the ball in thinking that things were not as bad as they thought.
But for the most part, i think Ray "Wonka Bar" Nagin, Kathleen "Call me Babineaux only at Election Time" Blanco and the people of New Orleans are responsible for what happened. Kathleen Blanco and Ray Nagin grew up in Louisiana, and know how powerful a storm of this magnitude can be...and that New Orleans was not in a good position due to being below sea level.
The should have better planned for evacuations and better planned for an emergency response. Their incompetence continues in that New Orleans is still pretty much a ghost town and Louisiana is no better prepared for a storm like that than it was a year ago.
Have you noticed MS, FL and TX don't have these same problems? And have you also noticed that those states also have Republican governors? Not that i think the GOP gov's are always right...but i'm just saying.
Now as for the people of New Orleans, these "poor, oppressed people who had nothing to begin with" other than living off of my tax money. It is evident by how much crime has gone up in Houston (41% increase in felony arrests in Houston for November 2005 compared to November 2004 according to reports). These people were leaches sucking the life out of New Orleans and are now sucking the life out of other great cities; and it is time to cut it off!
I say let them fend for themselves, cut the FEMA and whatever other gravy train they are living off of.
Second, i want to talk about the way the church of Jesus Christ stepped up. I know in Ascension Parish i met with a number of local pastors, across denominational lines, within days of Katrina for us to come up with a game plan to reach out to our community. This took place in other cities and communities across the state and region.
Add to that the number of yellow Southern Baptist Convention Disaster Relief hats you saw all over the place actually made me proud to be part of the SBC again. For a long time the SBC was known for what it was against...now it is once again being known for doing ministry; and it is about time.
Finally, i may seem harsh, but i truly feel sorry for those who are truly less fortunate. My wife and i went to the PMac at LSU where a triage was set up for evacuees coming out of New Orleans requiring medical attention. It truly broke my heart as i saw some people who had lost everything and had no chance to get out, and would not have if it weren't for rescue workers coming after the storm. I had a chance to pray with them, minister to them, help them get a bag of clothes to replace the dirty ones they had been wearing for three days and more.
I don't want a pat on the back, but i do want people to know that there truly were some victims of Katrina. They are not the ones who lived in 4 and 5 star hotels on my dime for the next few months and bought HDTV's with their FEMA checks.
I hope we learned something from Katrina, as hard as the lesson was. I'm not sure if we did though. There is still way too much politics involved and considering we are talking about New Orleans...probably way too much going on under the table.
I can only hope for the best and pray that we don't have another "Katrina" any time soon.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Let me first of all say, that i love when i see this type of stuff on TV...it is at the very least entertaining. At the same time, it does break my heart knowing that people fall for this type of garbage.
This morning i was flipping through the channels and came across "Pastor" Danny Davis (i use the term "pastor" lightly), and he was offering free "No evil oil" that has been prayed over for 17 days, and if you were to agree with him in prayer and rub the oil on the important things in your life (mainly wallet, check book, etc)...God would bring a miracle! Jalapeno, Glory Je to Bejus and Pass the Biscuits!
OK, first of all, this knuckle-head had a mullet. Given, it wasn't the bad Billy Ray Cyrus Achy-Breaky Heart type of mullet...and looked a little more like the one i had in college. But keep in mind that my college mullet was in 1989-1990 when they were "cool". Dude, it's 2006 and didn't they teach you seminary that "business in the front and party in the back" is no way to run your ministry? OH WAIT! This guy has probably never seen the inside of a seminary, a systematic theology book or the vast majority of his Bible either!
Which takes me to my next point...bad theology verses Biblical theology. Not that i'm an expert, but i have been blessed enough to have studied under some of the top names in theology and church history, and i try to glean from their wisdom and knowledge as often as possible when i do ministry. "Prophet" Davis (as one of his adoring fans referred to him) loses any hopes of being theologically accurate as soon as he picks out his first proof text. In fact, i saw him holding a Bible, i saw him saying "This holy book tells us...", but i NEVER saw him actually read a single verse which means it would have NEVER been read in context either!
This nitwit's goal is to make money. Yes, he gives his "No evil oil" away for "free", but i'm sure you don't get off the phone until you "sow a seed of faith" into his ministry. And all he talks about is financial and physical blessings. If he truly was a God ordained and God called and God inspired prophet (who is called to proclaim truth) he would be calling people unto salvation. Did i hear salvation? NO! Do i ever hear salvation from these nitwits? NO!
I don't care if they are giving away no evil oil, green prayer cloths or miracle spring water...they don't care about the salvation of the soul! They are looking out for their pocket books and wanting to pad them a little more.
It will be a sad day for people like this when judgement day comes. I really do feel sorry for them.
And next time you see one of this couyon's on TV...change it to the View, even they make more sense (scary thought, huh?)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
A federal judge in Detroit ruled yesterday that the National Security Agency's warrantless surveillance program is unconstitutional and U.S. District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor ordered a halt to the wiretap program.
Now as reminder, this NSA terror surveillance program was enacted after 9/11 and has some requirements for it to take place, such as:
* A phone conversation with a known member of Al-Qaida
* A phone conversation with a known supporter of Al-Qaida
* Either of these parties being in known terror hot spots overseas
My point here is that the only people who really need to be worried about losing their "civil rights" are those who have an agenda that includes destruction of the US, Islamization of the world, or death to the infidels.
The average "Joe Blow" American who works 40 hours a week, has 2.5 kids and a 2 car garage at home where his wife has dinner ready every night by 6:00 doesn't need to worry...unless he is involved in any of the previously mentioned scenarios.
But then again, it coming out of a Detroit judge's ruling doesn't surprise me either. Areas in and around Detroit, MI have the highest percentages of Muslims in the US. These are those Muslims, such as those in Dearborn, MI who stood with signs saying "We Stand Hand in Hand with Hezbollah" over the last couple of weeks.
Yes, that is the same Hezbollah that was at war with Israel (the only true democracy in that region by the way), who was responsible for hundreds (if not thousands) of US deaths in terror strikes over the last 20 years, and also has the image of a raised hand holding a AK-47 on their flag.
So, why wouldn't this MI judge rule against something as evil as terror surveillance that has only helped to prevent another 9/11?
Two interesting points to wrap this up:
1. MI does elect judges, so people like this have to take care of their voters.
2. Judge Diggs was appointed by Jimmy Carter...yes, the same Jimmy Carter who recently called Israel's attacks on Hezbollah in defense of their land "unjustified", said that the US needs "fewer secrets" (especially when people are wanting to destroy us, right Jimmy?!?!) and the same Jimmy Carter who signed an executive order on May 23, 1979 that read, the "Attorney General is authorized to approve electronic surveillance to acquire foreign intelligence information without a court order."
Did you get that?
If not, here is a link to that executive order: http://www.fas.org/irp/offdocs/eo12139.htm
Once again, the hypocrisy of the left never ceases to amaze me.
I'm going to take the forks out of my eyes now and try to sleep knowing that Federal Judges with life long appointments care nothing about my personal well being...or yours!
Monday, July 17, 2006
This past Sunday Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich was Tim Russert's guest on Meet the Depressed, and was very candid in his thoughts concerning the latest world crisis that the UN wants to simply sweep under the carpet. Note that Mr Gingrich correctly suggests that this is not a week long battle that has just begun...this is a problem that goes back to the formation of a Jewish state.
MR. GINGRICH: “…First, this is not the fifth day of the war. This is the 58th year of the effort by those who want to destroy Israel. As Ahmadinejad, the head of Iran, says, he wants to defeat the Americans and eliminate Israel from the face of the earth. So we should not see this event in isolation. There is an Iran/Syria/Hezbollah and Hamas alliance trying to destroy Israel."
“I mean, this is absolutely a question of the survival of Israel, but it’s also a question of what is really a world war. Look what you’ve been covering: …The North Koreans fire seven missiles on our Fourth of July; bombs going off in [Bombay], India; a war in Afghanistan with sanctuaries in Pakistan. As I said a minute ago, the Iran/Syria/Hamas/Hezbollah alliance. A war in Iraq funded largely from Saudi Arabia and supplied largely from Syria and Iran. The British home secretary saying that there are 20 terrorist groups with 1,200 terrorists in Britain. Seven people in Miami videotaped pledging allegiance to al-Qaeda, and 18 people in Canada being picked up with twice the explosives that were used in Oklahoma City, with an explicit threat to bomb the Canadian parliament, and saying they’d like to behead the Canadian prime minister. And finally, in New York City, reports that in three different countries people were plotting to destroy the tunnels of New York."
“…we are in the early stages of what I would describe as the third world war, and frankly, our bureaucracies aren’t responding fast enough, we don’t have the right attitude about this, and this is the 58th year of the war to destroy Israel."
In response to this, Tim Russert asked, "This is World War III?", and the former Speaker stated this: “I believe if you take all the countries I just listed, that you’ve been covering, put them on a map, look at all the different connectivity, you’d have to say to yourself this is, in fact, World War III."
We have nutjobs in Iran and North Korea, and a lack of policing of these morons by the likes of France, China and Russia...the alleged "Super Power" wannabes. If this doesn't resemble the start of WWII, i don't know what does!
But, unlike previous wars, this war is based on religion...more specifically the goal of Islamofascists to create a world religion; that of course being Islam. And as we have seen in recent years, and over and over again, they are willing to give the ultimate sacrifice in the name of Allah.
Peace is not an option for these people...only world domination.
So, does anyone else think this is World War III?
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
A series of train bombings, with as many as seven explosions are being reported and more than 100 people are feared dead. Even this late in the evening, there is only speculation to how many are dead and no clue how many have been injured. The Associated Press gives this quote concerning the carnage: "Indian television broadcast video of badly injured people sprawled on tracks and being carried to ambulances. Witnesses reported seeing body parts strewn about the stations."
Although there has been no claims of responsibility, there is very little doubt as to who was responsible seeing how India is in the midst of an ongoing religious war that has Muslims trying to gain control by any means possible and the similarities to the Islamofacist attacks in European bombings...should we even be suspecting anyone other than militant Muslims?
As a member of the hated "Religious Right" who the Loony Left of the US think is destroying our world...i think you bunch of nitwits are REALLY barking up the wrong tree. The enemy is not George W Bush or Jerry Falwell. The enemy is militant Islam, and they are using liberals in the US to help advance their propaganda, especially the drive by media.
My only question is...who is next? We have a lot of 11th day of the month left in the year.
Now, it appears our friends who are wasting good property in New York; yes, i'm referring to the UN, are willing to issue a resolution condemning North Korea for lobbing a handful of missiles toward the East (which would be the US West Coast for those high school graduates who can't find their own hometown on a map). Fox News is reporting, "The five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council and Japan agreed Monday to continue discussions on a resolution against North Korea in response to missile tests that rattled the region last week. "
This resolution coming out of Tokyo would call for sanctions, but these sanctions must be altered for the Security Council to approve it according to that sweetheart of a guy representing the People's Republic of China.
In fact, Chinese Ambassador "Everybody" Wang "Chung Tonight" Guangya (say that 3 times fast!) said, probably with a heavy brow and a gruff tone (because eveyone knows that Commies and Socialists can't be happy...look at Hillary for an example), "If they wish to have a resolution, they should have a modified one, not this one,".
Now...i'm just saying, if i didn't know better i would think that China may be in bed somewhere with North Korea; i'm just saying! After all, the Chinese haven't been this involved in international diplomacy since Clinton left the White House and they were evicted from the Lincoln Bedroom.
Need proof? How about this: a Chinese delegation including the country's top nuclear envoy Vice Foreign Minister Wu Dawei arrived Monday in North Korea, officially to attend celebrations marking the 45th anniversary of a friendship treaty between the North and China. Unofficially to give Kim Jong Il a pat on the back and say "Way to go you sicko!"
Hello! This relationship is hotter than a whore in Sunday School on Easter morning!
My personal opinion...and you can take or leave it, especially since my own sanity has been questioned from time to time: North Korea decides to lob a few morfe missiles, simply invade their airspace. Don't fire...just do a late night fly-bye as a reminder that we can take them out an ANY TIME!
God bless the USA!
Monday, June 26, 2006
The New York Times has decided to run yet another leaked story concerning US attempts at espionage that has for the last 5 years kept our country safe from another terrorist attack. On this occasion, the idiots that let the world know about NAS surveillance (which by the way, i'm not worried about since I'M NOT A TERRORIST!) has now published an article telling all of Al-Qaida that their money trail is literally being followed.
Although it is indefensible, NY Times editor Bill Keller attempts to defend this treasonous act by saying, "We remain convinced that the administration's extraordinary access to this vast repository of international financial data, however carefully targeted use it may be, is a matter of public interest..." According to a Fox News Report.
Public interest? This goes beyond public interest you moron! I have no doubt that in some spider hole some where in the mountains of Pakistan you will find Bin Laden and his cronies watching CNN and reading over priced toilet paper like the NY Times and crying out "Praise be to Allah" because even their own "operatives" couldn't get information this juicy.
I am convinced that the NY Slimes not only hates George W Bush...they hate the US and the freedoms we are built upon. And i dare anyone else to prove me wrong!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Much has been made about the US Senate pushing a vote on the floor to make English the "official language" of the United States of America...a country that has been known as an English speaking nation since it's foundation in 1776.
US Senator Conrad Burns (R-MT) co-sponsored an amendment that would make English the "national" language during a debate on immigration on Thursday of last week (5/18). A press release from the US Senate reports that the amendment passed by a vote of 63-34.
Sen. Burns said in the same statement, "I have long supported making English the national language of this country. Montana made English the official language in 1995 and is just one of 27 states to have done so. English is the language of this country and if you want to be a citizen, you should have to pass a test in English. Rhetoric aside, the English language and America are inseparable, and this was the right thing to do."
MY RESPONSE: 34 of these knuckleheads elected by those who think Fidel Castro is just misunderstood do not think English should be the official language of the US...this is RIDICULOUS! "Dirty" Harry Reid went as far as to say, "I really believe this amendment is racist. I think it's directed basically to people who speak Spanish."
Is he for real?????? I hope that the people of NV have been paying attention to their beloved Senate Minority leader over the last couple of years and will make him pay for it at his next campaign.
Next is the New Orleans mayoral election. The Good News: Mitch Landrieu didn't win. The Bad News: Ray Nagin won.
The end result...New Orleans is still a wreck and will continue to be such until they start getting these nitwits out of office!
Thirdly, i want to talk for a moment about the much controversial The DiVinci Code movie that was released to theaters this week. IT IS FICTION PEOPLE! Plain and simple, it is a story. No different than "Green Eggs and Ham" or "The Firm."
Will i see it? No. Will i read the book? No. Is it because i'm afraid of it's challenges to Christianity? No, because it is fiction and i have better things to do than read this book or spend $8.50 to watch it at the theater.
And finally, a bit of bad news for me...the life of Kentucky Derby winner Barbaros in is jeopardy. I lived in and around Louisville, KY for 8 1/2 years while in Seminary and the Derby is a huge part of life there. Like horse racing or not, you can't help but get sucked up into the excitement of horse racing...even if you never go to the track or place a bet. That is where my wife and i stand.
We've been gone from Louisville for 3 Derbies now, but we still make sure to catch it each year...even if no one else around here cares. And to see that colt go down and convulse in pain on Saturday was truly painful to watch.
Thoroughbreds are tremendous athletes, and i hope this one pulls through.
That's about it for now, i should be back later this week...God bless!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
As bad as the 1992 governor's election between Edwin Edwards (The Crook) and David Duke (The Klucker...as in KKK Klucker) was; this one between Mitch Landrieu and Ray "Willie Wonka" Nagin takes a close second.
Mitch Landrieu is the sitting Lt. Governor in the great state of Louisiana. Personally, i think he is running for mayor of New Orleans because he sees ZERO chances of being elected governor of this state as a result of our sitting Governor, Kathleen "Call Me Babineaux at Election Time" Blanco. They are both democrats (and you can't fix stupid, as that great theologian and philosopher Ron White likes to say), and with the way Hurricane Blanco botched things up after Hurricane Katrina, anyone closely related to her has a snowball's chance of sitting in that office.
He is also the brother of embattled US Sen. Mary "Lil' Hillary" Landrieu, who probably never actually won the first election she was in; as well as being the son of Moon Landrieu who was the last white mayor in the Crescent City. I'll give Moon credit, he did give us the Super Dome...and then gave us Dutch Morial (another father whose son wanted to and then became mayor of NO.)
On the other side of the runoff is our favorite candy man, Ray Nagin. Nagin is a former Cox Communications executive who was supposed to bring a business man's mindset into the future of the Big Easy. Instead, as a result of Katrina, we found that he should go back to selling cable tv converters and leave running a major city to the big boys. To call this guy an idiot is an insult to idiots through out history! At least we all know the ingredients for chocolate now, right?
The end result is this; i'm glad i'm not living in New Orleans and that i don't have to vote in this election. Either way it goes, i'm afraid that this once great city will be more screwed up than it already is!
Monday, May 15, 2006
Hope you enjoy!
Christianity for idiot secularists:
Jesus H. Christ (1-33 C.E.) invented Christianity during a Spring Break road trip to Jerusalem in the company of his friends. Jerusalem, though, had been the site of severe Spring Break disturbances during the previous year, and the local authorities took a dim view of anyone starting a new religion.
Beyond the fact that Christians really, really like him, scholars, historians, and professional athletes can agree on little else. Some maintain that Jesus was a secular revolutionary who never intended to found a religion; others that Jesus was perfectly conscious of his mission, and that the Bible is a reliable guide to his earthly ministry. Others go very far in their rejection of traditional Christian interpretations of Jesus, to the point of suggesting he never existed; still others, confusingly, insist that Jesus did exist, we're just not aware of it yet. And finally others say his name wasn't Jesus at all, but rather Josh.
Here are thumbnail views of what the major Christian denominations believe about Jesus:
THE ORTHODOX believe that Jesus is both God and Son of God, fully God and fully human, coeternal with the other two Persons of the Trinity, and that his death on the cross provides the means by which human beings can attain salvation.
CATHOLICS believe pretty much the same thing as the Orthodox, but add that Jesus has chosen the pope to be team captain.
LUTHERANS believe pretty much the same thing as the Orthodox, but believe that under no circumstances would Jesus ever choose a creep like the pope to be team captain.
UNITARIANS believe Jesus was a dedicated social worker; the first feminist; the first environmentalist; the first advocate of tolerance between all human beings; who nonetheless managed to enrage the Roman government to the point where it killed him by nailing him to a tree.
ANGLICANS believe essentially what Catholics, Orthodox, and Lutherans believe, but argue that if God did choose a team captain, it probably would have been C.S. Lewis.
FUNDAMENTALISTS believe that everything God wanted us to do is spelled out in easy to understand detail in the book he wrote, except the part about the Eucharist, which was obviously a case of God being a bit fanciful.
THE AMISH believe that it's time to stop making fun of them for riding in horse-drawn buggies instead of cars, and point out that the Mennonites are much bigger bunch of tools.
METHODISTS believe that the Wesley Brothers wrote such awesome songs it necessitated secession from the Church of England.
PURITANS believe you're going to hell, and they're kind of happy about it.
THE JUSTICE LEAGE OF AMERICA believes the Joker will stop at nothing to rob Gotham Central Bank, and fears he has enlisted Lex Luthor to help him.
This is the belief among some Christians that, ever since Jan. 1, 2000, it has no longer been possible, in the words of the Prince song, "to party like it's 1999." Postmillenialists are those Christians who believe that it will always be possible to do so, while Amillenialists believe that in this context, "1999" cannot be understood literally, but must be read as an allegorical term roughly meaning "a time at which it is especially appropriate to party."
This was a #1 hit in 1980 for Blondie (#5 in the UK), from the otherwise underwhelming "Autoamerican" album. Many Christians now concede that the then-pioneering use of rap in the song sounds a little lame in retrospect. In their best-selling series of books about the song, "Left Behind (Parallel Lines)," Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye defend the rap verse's hip references to Grandmaster Flash and Fab Five Freddy, and maintain that when Jesus returns, all believers will be united in accepting that Blondie's cover of "The Tide Is High" is better than the original.
The Pope is the President of Christianity. He is elected every four years by the Congress of Cardinals, which is divided into the Senate and the Holy House of Representatives. As president, the pope can veto important pieces of legislation, which he tends to do. The pope is also magical, and cannot be seen with the naked eye except for one hour on Christmas Eve every year.
The Bible was written by God as a merchandising tie-in to His blockbuster film "The Ten Commandments." Each book of the Bible is named after a person who features prominently in it, for example, the Book of Numbers, which is named after Herschel Numbers, who invented numerals. The Bible was so successful that God wrote a sequel, "Bible II: On to Rome," now generally called "The New Testament." Protestants believe the Bible is literal and exactly true in every detail except the description of the Eucharist, while Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible.
Catholics are the New York Yankees of Christianity. They are the biggest and wealthiest team, and their owner is intensely controversial (this makes St. Francis of Assisi the Derek Jeter of Catholicism: discuss). Catholics all wear matching uniforms, and are divided into "parishes," or "squadrons," to make choosing softball teams easier. Catholics are rigidly controlled by a hidebound hierarchy that starts with priests and ends with priests' housekeepers. Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible, eat meat, or refrain from worshipping statues.
For many years, American scholars believed the Orthodox were, like leprechauns, unicorns, and Eskimos, purely the product of the fanciful imaginations of medieval writers. Recent evidence leads us to tentatively conclude, however, that Eastern Orthodoxy may have somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 million adherents. Protestants tend to see the Orthodox as "Catholics with beards," while Catholics confess to a haunting sense that they are simply "Orthodox without beards."
The Protestant Reformation
This is the name historians give to a major labor dispute that erupted in Germany in 1517 when a group of monks hammered a proposed union contract to the door of the pope's house, requesting a 95 percent pay raise. The pope refused to negotiate with the monks union until it agreed to pay to have the door fixed, and the result was the world's longest-running strike. For nearly 500 years, a huge portion of Christians have been on strike from being Catholic, saying they are "justified" in their work stoppage because the pope won't expand the number of indulgences they get per year. Currently, the matter is in arbitration.
This theory was worked out by the French theologian and fashion designer John Calvin Klein, who argued that some people are predestined to be glamorous while others are doomed to be plain. America was founded by Calvinists, who sought to establish a country where they could pursue their belief that buckled hats were fashionable.
The belief that basic elements of play - like passing, ball handling, and defense - are the essential building blocks of a winning basketball team is generally referred to as "fundamentalism." The fundamentalists formulated their doctrine in the 1980s against the showy, heretical play of Magic Johnson's Los Angeles Lakers. Leading fundamentalist institutions include Bob Jones University and Syracuse. Larry Brown's failure to get the Knicks into the playoffs has been seen as a major setback for the cause of fundamentalism.
Baptists are Christians who believe God can only be accessed by means of a swimming pool or, in some cases, a shallow outdoor stream. The first Baptist was John the Baptist, who was said to eat locusts and honey, although contemporary Baptists generally prefer barbecue. "Baptism" is also the term used to describe a key Christian ceremony, in which prospective members of the church are either initiated actually (Catholics, Orthodox, confused Protestants) or symbolically (Protestants, confused Catholics, religious studies professors). Catholics believe that anyone can perform a valid baptism, Orthodox believe that any Christian can, while Baptists, paradoxically, believe that only they can.
The Emerging Church
This is a term that refers to churches attended exclusively by white people in their 20s and 30s who have at least one tattoo or body piercing. Their distinguishing characteristics are a refreshing, "up to date" interpretation of Christianity, and a reluctance to directly answer questions.
The Nicene Creed
This statement of faith is the Christian Pledge of Allegiance, recited every Sunday in squadron meetings by Christians all over the globe. Adopted in the 4th century at the behest of Emperor Constantinople, it was designed to counter the influence of the Aryans, who argued that Jesus was German.
When professional athletes thank Jesus for helping them win a game, this is the Jesus they're referring to.
This is the Christian _expression of God, who Christians say is personified by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Not all Christians accept this: Unitarians, Jehovah's Witnesses, and some Pentecostals reject trinitarianism, as do Muslims. Interestingly, while this does not mean Pentecostals are Muslim, it does mean that Muslims are Jehovah's Witnesses. St. Augustine famously summed up the difficulty of comprehending the Trinity when he recounted a dream in which a small boy told him he would need a bigger bucket if he wanted to bail out the ocean.
Christians are not permitted to have sex. This unpopular doctrine was formulated by Pope Lactose LX at the Council of Disney in 1439. Despite this restriction, Christians have managed to increase their ranks to the point where there are roughly 2 billion of them. Scholars attribute this to the competitive health benefits and generous "flex time" arrangements offered by Christianity.
Heaven is a term referring to the ultimate destiny of a certain number of souls. Depending on who you listen to, heaven is either: where all of us will end up (Origen); where many of us will end up (St. Gregory of Nyssa); where some of us will end up (John Calvin); where a small portion of us have, in some sense, already ended up (John of Leyden); where precisely 144,000 of us will end up (Charles Taze Russell); or where Jack Chick will end up (Jack Chick). Theologian Belinda Carlisle once posited that "Ooh, baby, heaven is a place on earth," but explorers combing the globe have yet to confirm this.
Although the Devil - also known as Satan, Lucifer, the Father of Lies, and, to his friends, "Hef" - is mentioned numerous times in Bible II, most Christians today are uncomfortable with belief in a literal, personal demonic entity. Instead, they prefer to think of the Devil primarily as the potential for wickedness that exists within all human beings or, in some cases, as an especially unreasonable landlord.
I hope this helps clear up some easily-made misconceptions about Christianity. If there are any questions about other doctrines or concepts, please don't hesitate to ask.